Bittersweet December

I didn't really get many pictures from Thanksgiving (for some reason my camera doesn't take very good indoor candid shots) but we had a wonderful day. We ended up having our feast on Friday instead of Thursday so we spent Thursday relaxing and prepping some of the dishes we were going to have on Friday.

On Friday we enjoyed the fruits of our labor. The meal was great and it was so nice to spend time with family and friends. We played games till nearly midnight. I know it shouldn't take a special holiday to remind me of how blessed I am, but Thanksgiving just really emphasizes to me how much we truly have. I'm so grateful for my family, especially my husband and children, and our awesome friends.

One of my favorite days of the year isn't Thanksgiving though. It's right after. Not Black Friday (you'll never find me in a store on Black Friday, ha!) Just the fact that Thanksgiving is over makes me feel like it's finally ok to break out the Christmas music and decor. I force myself to wait, but now...freedom!

I love Christmas. It really is the most wonderful time of the year, at least for me. I've always loved it, but each year there's a little sadness mixed in with the joy. A little loneliness to remind me to cherish the days and the moments I have with those I love most. Fifteen years ago on December 4, my dad left us to be with God. My life completely changed. We had been writing a script for the children's Christmas play at my church together and then he was just gone. Christmas was spent without him for the very first time. A new year began for us, but not for him. My heart broke in a way that I don't think will ever really heal. Does it help to remind myself that he's with Jesus? Sometimes. It might be selfish, but I'd rather he was with me. I'd rather he was spending Christmas with his grandchildren.

So in between the gratitude of Thanksgiving and the joy of Christmas, I indulge in a little self-pity and sadness. Just for a moment, I yearn for something long gone, never to return. Because when I do, it makes the joy and gratitude just a little more poignant. I cling a little tighter to my husband and my children. I love a little bit harder. And I thank God for every moment I get with them, because the next could be the last.

My dad, Bill Stock, with my two brothers, Dave and Mark, about 1996 I think.

Christmas Baking

I'm not exactly a huge fan of cooking, but I love baking. This year, as we were tight on money, I decided to bake for friends and family in lieu of gifts. Well, I suppose I gifted baked goods! I just thought I'd share what I did.

The main thing was a red velvet cake in the shape of a Christmas tree thanks to a tin foil tree-shaped pan I got from Safeway. Honestly, I can't even call what I did baking. It was just too easy.

Yup. I used a box mix. Not only is this mix amazing, but I really, really needed the time I saved not mixing my own.

It's always helpful if you have a little cutie to clean the beaters for you...

Once the cakes are done baking (about 30 minutes in small pans like this), you have to cool them completely. I kept them out on the counter for 15 minutes, then froze them. You can just let them come to room temperature, but not only does freezing them drastically reduce the cooling time, it makes it a lot easier to frost and decorate later on. You don't really need to freeze them solid. Just make sure they're cool and firm.

Time to decorate! I ended up only needing 1 can of frosting, but depending on how much you love your frosting, it's safer to have two cans handy! I used cream cheese frosting and Duncan Hines makes an amazing cream cheese frosting! No cuties were available to lick the spoon when I was done, so I was forced to take the job upon myself. It was awful, but someone had to do it.

I sprinkled the cakes with green sugar to give it some tree-like color. I considered just tinting the frosting green, but I decided that it just wouldn't be a proper red velvet cake if it had green frosting. I also threw on some red sugar for excitement. I used red sparkle gel for the garland and my expensive blue sugar balls that my husband knocked off the counter and into the garbage the day after I bought them. I'm not bitter, but I'm really disappointed I only got to decorate three cakes with them, considering they cost $5! It's ok though. It was my fault for letting him into the kitchen in the first place!

The next thing I made was Peanut Butter Chocolate Almond Bark. You can't really call this baking either because it's so easy! Pour anywhere from a half of a bag to a full bag of milk chocolate chips into a foil-lined pan and then about a half to three-quarters of a bag of peanut butter chips on top of that. Stick the pan into a pre-heated oven (about 350 is what I did) and let it melt for a few minutes. You'll know it's ready when the chips still hold their form, but are pretty shiny. Take the pan out of the oven and swirl a knife through the chips to get your pattern.

Sprinkle toasted almonds on top while the chocolate is still hot and melted and bang the pan on the counter a few times to get the almonds to settle into the chocolate. You can toast almonds really easily by laying them out on a pan and putting them in the oven for a few minutes. You'll know they're ready because they'll start to smell really good. Scientific, I know. Put the pan in the fridge for an hour or so to harden the chocolate, then break it all apart and package it. Try not to eat too much between the pan and the package, even though it's really really hard to resist. 

I just lined a really cute gift box with wax paper. This really needs to be refrigerated, or else the chocolate gets a little soft and you might end up with a mess. Incidentally, you'll want to refrigerate a red velvet cake as well, if you frosted it in cream cheese frosting. You can take it out of the fridge about an hour before serving to bring it up to room (aka, yummy) temperature. 

The last thing I did, which was not baking at all, was make candy sleighs. These are so easy to make (are you sensing a pattern here?) and I think they're just adorable.

I found an image for these on Pinterest but when I clicked through, it went to a blog called Just Say Sew and I couldn't find the candy sleighs anywhere on her site, so I don't know if credit belongs to her or who came up with these clever little sleighs. Either way, it was really easy to figure out how to make simply based on the picture. Glue dots are your best friend here. Don't listen to naysayers who say it's cheating (CHRIS). It's not. Use those little Hershey's Nuggets candy bag, 2 candy canes and a Kit Kat. 

Put glue dots on each of the bottom corners of the Kit Kat bar and attach the candy canes. 

Stack those bad boys in the shape of a pyramid, using glue dots to hold it all together, then wrap it in ribbon. Easy peasy!

Work in progress...

All done! Six candy sleighs all in a row. I really like these little things and I'll definitely be making them again next year. 

So that's what I made this year. I also cross stitched a little Santa Claus ornament for my tree, but never got a chance to finish it, so that will be hanging on my tree next year. I'm debating leaving my Christmas decorations up until after New Years, but honestly, I've had them up since the middle of November and I'm ready to get back to normal, so I guess it's off to tear down Christmas for me!

Merry Christmas!

Lots of pictures in this post! We got home early today, around 10am. We had our big Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve so we could share it with our friend, Chris. Also, my mother in law had to work both nights, so we tried our best to make everything work around her having to sleep during the day and what-not.

We had a great time. Dinner was awesome, we played games well into the wee hours of the morning. I think I finally passed out around 4am, which made waking up at 7am with the kiddos that much more agonizing! Luckily, the kids had tons of gifts to open this morning so they were pretty much on overdrive in terms of excitement and that sort of pure joy and energy is infectious. It was so fun to watch them open everything.

Once we got home, we had breakfast (thank goodness Jack in the Box is open on Christmas!) and took a nap because we were exhausted! All in all, we had a wonderful Christmas.

Soooo many presents! This doesn't even include the ones that Santa brought!

Julia wearing one of her new Christmas shirts. 

Damien wearing one of his new Christmas shirts and also the toy parrot he was obsessed with all day.

Game time!

My sister-in-law, Mikallie, waiting for games to start.

Our friend, Chris, showing off his candy sleigh...

...and plotting during the game...

Damien waiting patiently to open presents. Why is it always the Daddy who is the last to get out of bed?! We always had to beg my dad to get up so we could open gifts and this morning, the poor kids had to beg Nate! Oh, and yes, those are birthday bags. It turns out kids don't care if the bags their presents are in say Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday so my mother in law's stash of gift bags came in super handy last night.

Damien, Mikallie and Julia showing off their pj's, still waiting for Nate to get up so they can open their presents. Such torture!

Finally, they got to open presents. Here they are showing off their new Santa hats. 

Damien picked out this gift himself from Walmart a few weeks ago, but we made him wait until Christmas to get it, so he was looking through everything to find it. He wanted it to be the first one he opened hehe. (It's a Nerf shotgun.)

The aftermath... There was no way we were going to get everything into the trunk of our car. Luckily Mikallie's dad, Mike, offered to drive the rest of the gifts to our house in the back of his pickup. Thanks Mike!

I hope your Christmas was as wonderful as ours was!

Christmas Traditions

The last few days have been great. We went out one night last week to just drive around and look at the Christmas lights, a tradition we've had since the kids were babies. We found ourselves high up in the hills above our town where some of our valley's biggest homes are located. It was amazing to see such gorgeous homes all decked out for Christmas, not to mention the view overlooking the town.

Another tradition we took care of this week was the making of the gingerbread house. There's not enough icing or candy to cover the house with the kit I bought, and I could have bought more candy and made more icing so the kids could cover the whole thing, but that never happened and honestly, the kids don't know the difference. They had a blast decorating it, even if it ended up looking more than a little disheveled and random.

The next day, Nate had to work at his mom's house, caring for his little sister while my mother in law worked, so I took the opportunity to spend some quality time with the kids. We stayed up late watching movies that included Veggie Tales: Saint Nicholas, a Tale of Joyful Giving, The First Nativity and Mickey Mouse Christmas Carol, which is one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time.

The biggest tradition is yet to come. We'll be spending Christmas Eve at my mother in law's house. Normally she makes dinner, but this year she has to work (she works at night), so she'll be sleeping all day. I'll be cooking Christmas dinner on Christmas eve while she sleeps and we'll open presents on Christmas morning when she gets home from work. It'll be a bit of a mixed up Christmas, but the most important part is that we'll be all together. 

Baby, It's Cold Outside

I'm a Christmas junkie. I really can't think of another way to put it. I can't get enough of Christmas. My tree goes up in late November, Christmas music gets put on and plans are made. And by late November, I mean the week before Thanksgiving.

Christmas is often bittersweet for me, but really, it's only because I make it so. There are many reasons to feel blue at Christmas. As if there weren't enough personal reasons, all one has to do is turn on the news and a dark, moody cloud awaits to cover you in gloom.

I'm sitting here, listening to Christmas music, watching the snow drift slowly down from the black sky out my window and it's just...nice. I feel a twinge now and again when certain thoughts pass through my mind, but over all, my life is good. I complain, too much. But tonight, I can't think of a single thing to complain about. Perhaps it's a Christmas miracle.

Or maybe it's just that I spent the evening watching Christmas programs with my children and it's really hard to feel down when you're cuddling with your kids on the couch watching a bunch of vegetables blessing a family in need. Ah, Veggie Tales, what would we do without you teaching us what is right (and that vegetables are awesome.)

I realized that I really really want my kids to understand what Christmas is truly about. I stopped going to church for selfish reasons, and at times I find myself questioning my faith, but I realize that I desperately need to make sure my kids have a firm foundation. I want them to know and love Jesus. I want them to understand compassion and the kind of love Jesus commands us to have for each other.

I guess that's really what I love most about Christmas. It's a time to really focus on what's important and then, a week later, we get to make a fresh start. Just like a fresh snow fall covering the dirt and muddy tracks  of past journeys, the new year is ripe with possibility. And really, a new beginning, a chance to do better is really the best gift anyone could ask for at Christmas I think. After all, that's what the first Christmas was all about; a second chance for humanity.

The one song that I've been thinking about a lot lately is "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day." The lyrics just seem so poignant right now:

"And in despair, I bowed my head.

'There is no peace on Earth,' I said

'For hate is strong and mocks the song

of peace on earth, goodwill to men.'

"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep.

'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep.

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on Earth, good will to men."

At a time when a nation mourns the loss of 20 innocent children to a deranged gunman, despair seems appropriate, hope seems scarce. But we must have hope and take courage. Jesus is come to us! Christ is born, Emmanuel, God with us. Though it sometimes seems that our nation has abandoned God, God has not abandoned us. I believe this to be true with all of my heart. The time to dwell on the past is over. God is with us. We have new hope, a fresh start. It's Christmas time, once again.